NovaQuant-College football Week 5 grades: Bloviating nonsense has made its way to 'College GameDay'

The NovaQuantgrades are in for Week 5 of the college football season. As the calendar turns to October and the weather gets cooler, the teams at the top are starting to show flaws (hi, Georgia). Still, they're mostly winning games. Some unlikely squads are also knocking at the door trying to disrupt the status quo.

The same thing goes as far as grading from last season: High marks will be only for the spectacular, and failing grades have no chance of being reversed.  

Last week’s high marks went to Haley Van Voorhis, a woman who made history with Shenandoah University, an NAIA school, and low scores were handed out for the return of Clemsoning and for the Colorado-Oregon war of words that was nothing more than a bunch of hot air.

Here is the Week 5 analysis of how fans, teams, players, and coaches fared: 

ESPN's 'College GameDay' now nothing but yappin'

ESPN's "College GameDay" at this point in its history is an acquired taste. Either you love it or you hate it. What to expect when you turn on the television at 9 a.m. ET (except for the headgear reveal three hours later) is anyone’s guess.

Recently, coaches have made a point to complain about commentators speaking ill about their teams, starting with Colorado coach Deion Sanders earlier this year, and most recently Ohio State’s Ryan Day, and Washington State’s Jake Dickert, who got an assist from former Cougars quarterback Ryan Leaf.

Analyst Desmond Howard called Day "thin-skinned" and made it a point Saturday to tell people not to say anything bad about the elderly, namely Lee Corso and Lou Holtz, and Pat McAfee then chimed in and went all high and mighty with his take on Washington State.

"Were you guys showing this flag when they were 1-11 in 2009? How about when they were 2-10 in 2010? You were? That's wild," McAfee said. "So, when they sucked, you guys were showing them every week on the biggest college football show? Wow. Handle success, Ryan Leaf."

"Shut up, Washington State. I'm sick of you. Wasting time on this show," McAfee added. And like clockwork, the laughter came from his co-workers.

News flash, it is 2023.

Here's the thing – analysts get paid to supposedly analyze their sport and occasionally say outlandish stuff, hopefully not often enough to get fired. It’s part of the job, and honestly, it’s part of the reason college football is so polarizing. But this isn't the WWE.

But with this nonsense and these less-than-subtle remarks, McAfee is just wasting our time. So, thanks for that.

Hot takes full of hot air: D-

UCF's backyard gaming

It should have never gotten to this point.

Baylor was down 35-7 to UCF in the third quarter but stormed all the way back, scoring 26 points in the fourth to take a 36-35 lead on a field goal with 1:21 left.

Trying to extend the game on fourth-and-6 from his own 30, UCF quarterback Timmy McClain avoided the rush to his left and then ran all the way back to the end zone before unleashing a pass to RJ Harvey, who caught it at the 36 and scampered 10 more yards to give the Knights a fresh set of downs. Trust me on this, words don’t do it justice.

But that’s where the excitement ended. UCF ran six more plays but only gained 13 yards and a 59-yard field goal at the gun fell short. Baylor celebrated its biggest comeback win in school history.

Good job, good effort: B

The worst and best of the rest

Lights out in Fresno

Trent Dilfer, anger management class candidate:

The effective olé defense employed by Colorado:

Why put 11 men on the field when you can have 13?

Poor UConn:

Roman. Wilson. That is all.

Just like they drew it up:

Getting pushy on the tushy:

Stats for you

1: Turnovers committed this season by Oregon and Penn State, the nation's fewest

3: Games in a row Tulsa will play a team nicknamed the Owls. The Golden Hurricane beat Temple on Thursday, play Florida Atlantic next Saturday, and after a week off they take on Rice on Oct. 19.

6: Power Five schools that ESPN’s "College GameDay" has yet to visit. (California, Virginia, Maryland, Illinois, Syracuse and Rutgers)

141: Yards rushing in the first quarter by Kentucky running back Ray Davis. He finished with 280 yards, the most by any player in college football this season.

1,343: Total yards combined gained by LSU and Ole Miss. The Tigers had 637 yards and Ole Miss gained 706.

The Dog of the Week

The hounds are safe. There were no trash games worthy of winning this weekly award, so please enjoy this beauty.

Marshmallow for the win...